If you spend enough time in plant communities online, you’ll eventually see the same confession repeated over and over again.
Someone buys their first houseplant.
It dies.
Then the second one dies.
Then a third.
Eventually they wonder if they’re simply cursed.
So recently I asked a simple question online:
How many plants have you accidentally killed before you figured out what you were doing?
The replies were… reassuring.
Apparently the answer for most people is quite a lot.
The Universal Plant Parent Experience
One thing became very clear from reading through dozens of replies: killing plants is almost a universal part of learning how to keep them alive.
Some people admitted to losing five or ten plants before things started working.
Others said the number was closer to hundreds.
One plant owner even said they had probably killed over 300 plants, although to be fair they also keep several hundred at any one time.
In other words, plant care is rarely something people get right immediately.
It’s much more like an apprenticeship.
You learn by trial, error, and the occasional slightly traumatic plant death.
Why Everyone Kills Plants at First
Most people assume that keeping houseplants alive should be simple.
After all, plants grow outdoors all the time without anyone helping them.
But indoor plants are actually living in very strange conditions compared to their natural habitats.
Many common houseplants originally come from tropical forests where they receive:
- consistent humidity
- filtered light
- stable temperatures
- well-draining soil
Our homes, on the other hand, often provide:
- dry air
- inconsistent watering
- heating systems
- dark corners
It’s not exactly ideal.
So when a plant dies early on, it’s usually not because someone has a “black thumb”.
It’s simply because there’s a learning curve.
The Most Common Beginner Mistake
If there was one theme repeated again and again in the replies, it was this:
Overwatering.
Many plant owners eventually discover that most houseplants actually prefer being a little too dry rather than too wet.
Roots need oxygen, and constantly wet soil can quickly lead to rot.
A lot of people said their plant care improved dramatically once they stopped watering on a strict schedule and started checking the soil first.
This simple change often makes a bigger difference than anything else.
Plants That Seem to Die the Most
Another pattern appeared in the comments: certain plants seem to defeat beginners again and again.
Some of the most frequently mentioned offenders included:
- Ferns – beautiful, but very sensitive to dry air
- Calatheas – notorious for crispy leaves
- Begonias – surprisingly fussy indoors
- Palms – often struggle with indoor light levels
These plants can absolutely thrive in the right conditions, but they tend to be less forgiving while someone is still learning.
That’s why many experienced plant owners recommend starting with plants like pothos, snake plants, or ZZ plants instead.
They’re far more tolerant of beginner mistakes.
The Turning Point
What’s interesting is that many replies also mentioned a turning point.
After enough trial and error, things suddenly started working.
Plants began growing instead of declining.
New leaves appeared.
And the collection slowly expanded.
It seems that once you understand a few basic principles — light, watering, and soil drainage — plant care becomes much more intuitive.
The early losses are simply part of learning those lessons.
The Real Secret
The biggest takeaway from the discussion was surprisingly comforting.
Even people who have been keeping plants for years or decades still lose them occasionally.
One commenter who had been gardening for more than 40 years said:
“Sometimes they come back to life and sometimes they don’t.”
And honestly, that might be the most realistic description of plant care there is.
Plants are living things, and sometimes they simply don’t cooperate.
So How Many Plants Is “Normal”?
Based on the replies, the unofficial answer seems to be:
Enough that you eventually stop counting.
And once that happens, you’re probably well on your way to becoming a proper plant person.
If you’re just starting out and feeling discouraged after losing a plant or two, you’re definitely not alone.
In fact, it might mean you’re learning exactly the way most plant owners do.
One plant at a time.